All things written and experienced by yours truly. Thanks for stopping by.
Disclaimer: My blog is not for educational purposes. It is written with the intention of providing comedic and leisurely reads. I am a traveling speech-language pathologist working with adults/geriatrics. I have 3 years of travel experience under my belt, but 7 years all together.
August 2023
After a year working in a full-time position in northern VA or “NOVA”, I was ready for a change. However, I did not expect this change to lead me to southern West Virginia. In fact, I haven’t worked in WV since my first travel assignment in Shepardstown/Berkeley Springs. I think I was drawn to the idea of having a more “peaceful” environment. That paired with the financial benefits from travel contracts.
I ended up snagging an AirBnB only 17 minutes from the facility, which I am forever grateful being that the next option was a solid 50 mins + out. What I can say thus far after 7 weeks of being here, is how this assignment has truly humbled me. If I need to go to Walmart, well it’s a 50+ minute drive and one main route. If I need my car serviced, well I better get there during the week because there are no auto shops open on the weekends. Want to order in tonight? Welp, not gonna happen here. I recently had to redownload my Doordash app while I was in CT for a wedding being that it hasn’t been used in months. Need cell service while driving through the mountains? Ha, tough titty said the kitty. The best you’re getting is about 4 minutes of Spotify until you arrive at the bend in the road before the first Coal mining entrance en route to work. After that its either silence until work or anything downloaded ahead of time.
My first day started with me meeting my boss at the only McDonalds within a 30-mile radius. She was concerned I would lose service trying to find the building and she was absolutely correct. I am forever grateful that she offered to meet me en route to work that first day.
Following our initial meet and greet at McDonalds, she then insisted on getting my breakfast, which I was hoping to have time to at least get an iced coffee. I then proceeded to follow her through the zig zagging road through the mountain side while trying to keep up with her speed. * I am no Sunday stroller, but I am not made for these curvy roads.*
I survived my first drive into work. Phew. Sucked down my iced coffee and went on a tour with my new boss. Everyone here is close and knows everything about everyone. As a matter of fact, many are related. Per my boss, “If you need to vent about someone, it’s best that you do it in here because you’re probably talkin’ about someone’s sister.”
The term “holler” is often heard among patients and staff. “Oh do you live in the xyz holler?” /Holler: or “hollow”; a remote road or area with a homes and a dead end.- My boss.
Me: So how do i know if I’m in a holler?
My boss: Well you’re in one right now.
Me: oh.
My boss: awkward lull. Then proceeds to laugh
Everything is fine!
Day one:
Getting my grand tour and a resident ripped off one of their wheelchair brake handle and attempted to shank another resident. (They were transferred out) Funny story, I was supposed to evaluate said person on day one.
While in the therapy gym, another patient asked the OT to hand over her purse. She then proceeds to pull out an entire grilled cheese. My favorite part? She referred to it as a “CHEESE GRILL”. The inspiration behind the title of my page.
Week 2: A minor speed bump.
While driving back from work on the only route possible, i hear a dreadful sound from underneath my Honda civic. A scraping and dragging sound, causing my heart to drop to my stomach. I pull over and see the bottom of my front bumper was hanging by a thread. I was fortunate enough to have 1 bar of service to contact AAA. They were helpful, but Iike everything else in this town, the service was slow. I happened to pull off at an ATV hut (very very common) and the owner happen to still be there closing up for the day. He took one look at my car and waved off for me to hang up. “I can tell you exactly what’s happening”.
He then proceeds to pull out a bundle of zip ties and Macguiver the underside of my bumper. I ask if this is safe and he assures me that my car will be fine, as long I don’t go off-roading. I took my car in about 2 weeks later only to learn that the zip ties are pretty much the best bet for my poor bumper unless I want to drop nearly $1000 to have the bumper replaced. So for now, my bumper is relying on zip ties and higher powers to be.
New River Gorge- October 7, 2023
Quotes from work
”Can I eat my cheese grill? It’s been in my purse since lunch. But I ain’t got no teeth so it might take a while.”
”He’s just a few fries short of his happy meal”
”You fartin’?”
”I lost my voice after I got throat punched in the Bayou.”
”I’m fuller than a bed tick.”
[patient: “Nah, I don’t mess with Bailey’s; I put 100% corn grain in my coffee.”
me: “So moonshine?”
patient: “yeah! Y’cant taste it though”]
”1-star attacked a woman with a machete once” (local “loiterer”)
”Ma’am, the next time I wave at you will be when I’m standing over your dead body.”
”Y’all best get you a jar cuz I ain’t dillin’ with it.
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